so last friday i got my hair cut. i have had at least moderately long hair for about the last four or five years, and for the most part have enjoyed all that having long, luxurious locks has entailed, but from time to time i have enjoyed a trim here, a shape up there, etc. hmm, now i sound like a girl. anyway, so friday i got my haircut. i didn't feel right taking my glorious mane to an actual barber shop, and salons cost too much. i know a few people who cut hair, but they have either moved away, or are just not available on such short notice. i'm impulsive when it comes to these things-i'll ruminate on an idea like getting a haircut for a while, then one day just do it. i had to have it done that way, and thus i ended up at the hair cuttery. i've gone to the one 'round my way a few times, and have maybe had a 50% success rate. this latest visit has brought the success rate down. i told her to trim down the back and sides, and get rid of alot of the bulk back there while shaping my shit up. my hair is curly and armenian (thanks dad), and thus gets MASSIVE when long. fouzia decided that the best way to do this was to chop off a few inches off the the lower part of the back and sides of my then-awesome mane, and to layer it and give it "a nice shape". i looked in the mirror after she had "finished", and sure enough, it looked OK. my hair was wet and matted at the time, so it appeared that everything came out as planned; maybe a bit shorter than i wanted. my hair tends to poof out as it dries, so things changed a little while after i got home. the hair in the back indeed poofed out, accentuating the lack of blending between the lengths of the longer and shorter hairs and thus framed my face like a little dutch boy. the night of kevin's 42nd birthday party, many comparisons of my haircut were made to the hair styles of historical figures and other celebrities of similar caliber. most of them don't really work, but i will list a few here:
marco polo
hmm...while i admit i'll probably look like this when i'm around 60 or 70, this dude's hair is actually closer to what i have now-sometimes referred to as the "white-guy ramp".
christopher columbus
actually, this is pretty close, minus the baldness going on on top. this is one of the only pics i could find of him where he's not wearing some type of asinine hat, surely a mark of nobility in his time.
prince valiant/the little lord fauntleroy
this is a classic, and possibly the most assy comparison yet made to my then-hairstyle.
i'm tired of making all these comparisons, and it has taken me like 3 weeks to finish this post. at last i shall unveil the haircut i had for less than 24 hours...
now that the pictures are positioned as they are, the prince valiant, minus the bangs is pretty damn close. as i said, i had this haircut for less than a day. during those 24 hours, my hair spent its time in either a bandanna or ponytail...some type of apparatus designed to conceal the lack of craftsmanship that it had endured.
it looked normal, so i wasn't immediately infuriated, but lo, as the dawn arrived and my hair poofed out more and more, i got mopey and tired of looking like a dumbass. i decided to get a real haircut. i went to bart's.
this place seemed cool enough; it's in laurel and it looked like a barber shop. i honestly hadn't been to a real barber in years. i immediately sat down in "Laura" 's chair and she was cool. she started talking to me; asking me if i lived in town, what i did, etc. this was comforting and made me think of that greek dude who used to cut my hair in kensington, not that she resembled a middle aged greek dude in any way, but i just don't remember having anything resembling a decent conversation at hair cuttery, goddammit. she cut my hair way too short (at least it felt like it at the time), but the haircut was a very-well crafted one. laura was sweet and knows her onions*. after like 6 more hours of moping at the loss of my long, gorgeous locks whose beauty shan't soon be matched, i welcomed the new haircut and accepted the fact that change was a long time coming. this is now what i sort of look like:
"You no like-a my new haircut?! I smacka you face!"
the hair cuttery can't be all that bad though, if alex ovechkin now endorses them.
*i added this idiom simply due to the fact that it was in the thesaurus under "able".
